Season 5, Episode 5: Thirst

"Thirst"

Episode 5

Air Date: October 27th, 2005

Ohhhhh boy.....Al and Miles really can't help themselves by forcing poor Kristin Kreuk to be some supernatural vixen for an episode or two like they did last season as instead of the insufferable wiccan romp of Spell, Lana trades in her magic book and magical attire for fangs and a sexy kitten outfit to be a vampire in Thirst.  I get it, this episode is suppose to be extremely tongue in cheek considering 1) Steven S. DeKnight was a writer on both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, so why not have him write an episode that is essentially a parody of the teenage superhero series! I mean my goodness, Head of Sorority of one of Met U's prestigious sororities is Buffy Sanders, a vampire that even as one point, iconic guest star Carrie Fisher (R.I.P.  Princess :_() says "stories of slaying Buffy the Vampire".  Omg!!! Also 2) Having James Masters on the show is now the perfect time to have a heavy irony joke by him saying "There's no such thing as vampires"! HAR HAR! Ohhhh boy, you guys are not subtle at all in that writers room are you.  Honestly, it just feels like yet another exercise for Lana to act all sexually aggressive and fulfill some teenage boy's fantasy honestly.  That scene of her at the sorority costume party or when she breaks through Lex's window to look all sexy posing before she attacks her prey......sigh.....  If that wasn't bad enough, Lana manages to bite into Clark (because of kryptonite being there of course!) and gain his heat vision power.  How?? Why??? Who cares when Lana looks so incredibly hott as a vampire sorority girl in a cat costume!? *GROAN* Fast forward to the practically rushed resolution of Lana killing Dawn and trying to turn Clark but he manages to give her the antidote in time.  Oh and Lana remembers feeling what was inside of Clark, so much love and strength, blah, blah, blah! Ewwww, someone suck the life out of me right now! -_-

Besides that, the episode had some actual fun elements like Chloe finally going after her dream of journalism at the Daily Planet and trying to desperately convince the Editor In Chief, Pauline Kahn aka Carrie Fisher being so smug and snarky as ever, to give her an internship at the legendary newspaper hub.  I love Chloe documenting this and commentating throughout the episode as she uses Lana's latest otherworldly crisis to writer her story.  Not only is it fun, but it's nice seeing a more hilarious side of Chloe and it makes her journey toward journalism glory that much more entertaining.  I'm glad that while her story wasn't going to be published, Pauline actually gave her a job at the Planet.....in the basement, but she has to start somewhere like she says right??? Also, this is the first time we see that Daily Planet set that will be a mainstay for the show until the very end of the series. At least there was some major character progression there with Chloe and getting Carrie to be on the series was a major casting win for the series.  She was excellent and it's a shame we won't be seeing more of Pauline Kahn.  Would have loved to have seen some more interaction between her and Chloe, maybe even other Daily Planet employees. Sigh....oh well.....:(

As Lex and Dr. Milton Fine, the two men come to intellectual blows this episode as Lex threatens him to stop his research on him and his company or he will get him fired....to which Fine confronts him at the Luthor mansion to expose his secret projects he's been conducting on Central Kansas' campus.  WOW! I have to say, Michael Rosenbaum and James Masters are a tremendous pair to see working off each other.  One a business tycoon who is on that very path of maniacal villainhood while the other is clearly an otherworldly menace with an agenda not yet known but clearly a threat not to be taken likely as he not so subtly kills one of Lex's guards; revealing he is some kind of metallic organism that can turn parts of his body into a living weapon like a incredibly sharp blade right through chest.  OUCH!!! YIKES! O_O  The writers are doing well with building on the mystery of behind Fine and what exactly he is as he is certainly not a Kryptonian but something that seems far more powerful and forward thinking....hmmmmmm.  But it doesn't stop Lex from now warning Clark about Fine which sets some more plot points to come in future.  Other than those eventful and entertaining sub-plots, Thirst is a gimmicky redux of Spell but this time we have vampires instead of witches.  Thankfully it's enjoyable outside that terrible storyline or this would have been a massive failure like that episode as well. O_O

Final Kryptonite: D-