Season 5, Episode 16: Hypnotic

"Hypnotic"

Episode 16

Air Date: March 30th, 2006

........And there it is!!! It's finally all coming back to me now why I despised this season so much and we haven't even reached the subterranean depths of pollution that is Season 7 yet! O_O Hypnotic is just utter insanity and I mean that the writers utterly sh!t on their main man aka Clark "the BDA" Kent!  Suddenly this show has gone from an inspiring reinvention of the world's most beloved and famous superhero to some.....sci-fi soap opera where the most important thing going on in Clark's life is...wait for it....LANA!!!! -_-  I can't stress this enough! One of Smallville recurring problems throughout most of the series' run was the endless back and forth between these two but nothing could prepare me for how disgusted I am by how poorly the writers continue to not only handled said horrendous relationship, but how the make Clark look so heartless and cold in the end for NO REASON!!! But before all of that, let's get into this...."plot"....because....OMG!!! *Breathes* So Clark runs into beautiful blonde at the Talon....right after he gives Lana....the woman he loves....and "always love" the cold shoulder about having some alone time in her dorm room.  The episode just starts out so bizarre and jarring with this woman being able to hypnotize Clark out of nowhere with her amulet and makes Clark her love slave that Lois just happens to run into as they get hot and heavy in the alley.  Now Lois thinks Clark is a complete idiotic jerk who's just cheating on his girlfriend; leaving Chloe having to pick of the pieces and figure out how this all fits together in weird occurrences that happen in Smallville since she's the only one who knows Clark enough to know he's being out of character out of his control.

Awwww how nice!!! Doesn't stop the fact that Simone (The infamous blonde in question) from hypnotizing Clark into becoming a complete simp (Oh god, I've become a Gen Zer! O_0) who can blindly do anything he wants; including revealing his powers to her! Great! Oh what's next?!! Having sex with Simone in the barn after calling Lana over to see it....oh look Lana sees it! God, this show has to be reaching a whole new low if I'm feeling THIS heartbroken over Lana being treated like this.  The thing is this is recurring issue that the writers seem to make abundantly clear that Clark just can't stop hurting Lana either directly or indirectly due to supernatural means.  If that wasn't bad enough, I feel even worse for Tom Welling have to be forced to regurgitate this crap! Line after line, being more cringe worthy than the one that came before.  Honestly, this is the worst Clark has even looked on this show; God he's making me actually find Lex more empathetic than him at this point.  .....Oh speaking of Lex, guess who's behind all of this!??? -_- *AHHHHHHH!*  Yes, Lex blackmailed Simone into helping him hypnotize Clark to not only find out the truth about him but....OMG break Clark and Lana up! ...........So now Lex is so evil he wants to break them up and expose Clark's secret?!! So where is exactly is Lex during his journey at this point??? Honestly, his "villany" in this episode reeks of pathetic pettiness and I just don't like where this storyline is going with these three and my god, this trio of melodrama between Clark, Lex and Lana has just begun! Almost like Lana is the ultimate reason for their rift and ultimate rivalry toward each other.......*HEAD DRILL* -_-

Oh, I guess I'm suppose to talk about the sub-plot with Lex finally tracking down Milton Fine and the spaceship...which is now in Honduras.  Yeah....so this storyline with Fine complete disappears since "Solitude" and has only been brought back up in a "blink and you'll miss it" scene from like two episodes ago that had no said relevance to the story arc itself. Seriously, why even bring it back!?? And that's how it feels like! Like the writers completely dropped the storyline and decided to bring it back during the late half of the season....what the F^&*!!!?? O_O  Yes, the opening sequence of Fine attacking two researches in a quarantined location and burning it to the ground with his heat vision is badass, yes, James Masters continues to excel marvelously as the menacing Fine, yes, it's intriguing to see Lex confronting Fine again and Fine seemingly after random viruses for some reason....but it feels like this should have been directly followed up after "Solitude" much sooner! It all feels so sudden and pointless at this point when this spaceship storyline is taking a backseat to Clark and Lana's relationship woes as of late! -_-

I think the part I hate the most is that Lex....Lex uses this girl to expose Clark's secret, yet when Clark finally reveals his powers after THROWING HIM ACROSS THE ROOM....Lex immediately dismisses it and delivers a line so dumb it's almost like the writers are beyond desperate to find ways to keep Lex from finding out Clark's secret.  Oh because he's hypnotized, that how he threw you across the room with super strength?! What about him easily overpowering you and strangling you as he lifts you up in the air! Dear Lord, the ludicrous nature of this show at this point is terrifying....painful...arrogant...in making these characters suddenly so dumb and oblivious! OMG! -_-  Luckily, Chloe is there to save the day and accidentally shots Simone alongside Lex to destroy the amulet and kill her unfortunately....I don't even care.  I don't care about Simone's backstory or her double crossing Lex out of no where to run away with Clark or the fact the forced poor Anette O'Toole into this bullsh!t by having her hypnotized and holding a gun at Lois before Chloe knocks her out.  I can't believe I even had to say that sentence! Shame on you writers! But NOTHING prepares you for one of the most needlessly gutwrenching break-up scenes.  Clark could have just said ANYTHING...but the writers make him break up with Lana by saying he doesn't love her anymore...  I just want to stuff my head into a blender! Of course, Lana hates Clark and goes right to Lex to tell him the news.  Martha....has to be the voice of reason and reminds Clark that deep down that he really doesn't seem like he loves Lana....and doesn't really think she's the one....but all Clark once again can say is "I'm always gonna love Lana!" I'm sorry, at this point, Clark doesn't love her and the writers just love making Lana the object of his devotion and focus. End of story! But my god, this is only the beginning and I haven't talked about that terrible actress who played Simone who clearly got her part based on being some model. -_- One of, if not the worst episode of the show thus far; making Spell and Thirst have at least a one off charm to them instead of this episode's critically harming long term effects on the show! GOD! 0_0

Final Kryptonite: F