Eternals Review

Eternals (2021)

Directed by: Chloe Zhao

Written by: Chloe Zhao, Patrick Burleigh and Ryan Firpo

Starring: Gemma Chan, Richard Mann, Angelina Jolie, Salma Hayek, Kumail Nanjianj, etc.

"Why does this exist???" .......That's all I can think about after watching "Eternals", one of Marvel Studios' latest installments in the MCU which feels like one of the most ambitiously empty films I have ever watched.  I think I agree with many that, it doesn't even feel like a MCU film.  Outside various MCU references that could be completely taken out, it feels like its own universe.  Maybe even more like a DC film given it strangely references Batman and Superman for some odd reason??? O_o  Don't get me wrong, "Eternals" sure does try its hardest to make us believe in these characters like any other MCU but my goodness, was I mostly bored by all of it. O_O  Sure there's action sequences and visually amazing looking effects but with a script so lacking and forced, not to mention a cast of characters that leave so little to be desired it feels like a whole bunch of loud pretentiousness over a film that almost fails at everything it is trying to convey.  Now I know people have been complaining about the MCU formula for years: the snarky, sarcastic characters, the almost familiar origin story, the villain that always mirrors the hero in everyday and the comedy that can get a bit obnoxious and relentless at times instead of genuine seriousness and pathos that more of the film needs.  But my goodness, I was missing that relied formula here desperately.  Say what you will about Warner Bros. handling of their DC films as yes, they are a mixed bag of quality overall but at least each film tries to take risks even if sometimes it succeeds or fails given the hands the movie in....or rather Warner Bros infuriating meddling; not to mention having someone like Kevin Feige over seeing the DCEU to make it consistent storytelling and execution instead of this repetitive inconsistency.  Trust me, Chloe Zhao's "Eternals" certainly is a risk taker but almost at the expense of truly telling a story worthy to be within the MCU.  I may have overall hated "Black Widow" but only because I loved the character so much and felt she deserved a worthier film to star in after so many of us wanted one for years.  It felt so disappointing and average at best for a character that was so beloved and left her legacy in mediocrity outside of her ties to the Avengers.

Honestly, who the hell needs the "Eternals" after this film??? I'm sorry to say but I agree, this was such a failure in storytelling and laying the groundwork for future installments of these group of heroes.  I mean "Guardians of the Galaxy" for what I remember (I'll be reviewing the first of that film series soon! ;) did so well in establishing each character, warranting their need in the MCU and pushed the ongoing story forward in the MCU.  Outside of the post credit scenes, "Eternals" progresses nothing and adds NOTHING to the MCU.  O_o  Tho, it is MUCH harder to craft a superhero origin story as well as modern day adventure for 10 characters on a team roster instead of just 5, so the writers including Zhao herself really can't be blamed for having to build so much in so little amount of time.  Yes, this film is over 2 and a half hours long yet feels like it's not given enough time to explore this new side of the MCU that is being explored.  The Eternals themselves as a group come off so boring and bland that it made me miss the phonetic energy of the Avengers and Guardians interacting.  I just don't feel connected to these characters at all and didn't even mind when some of them meet their end during their quest to regroup after 7,000 years since they arrived on Earth and must stop the rise of the Deviants, hideous, powerful alien predators if you will who are the polar opposites of the Eternals, superpowered immortals sent to Earth by the Celestial, Arishem, to protect humans from the Deviants and help them in building their civilization for years to come.

The film does generally ask A LOT of questions about humanity, Gods among humans, if humanity is worth saving, blah, blah, blah, that feels so underdeveloped and not properly realized as one of the themes throughout it.  Once again, the Eternals themselves are.......sigh........  I don't even want to talk about them as a whole.  I feel like as friends or even the family theme they try to convey between them is so poorly written and the actors often times seem so......underwhelmed in their performances because of it.  I mean I LOVE seeing the return of Angelina Jolie on the big screen; given she spends more of her days helping third world countries as an ambassador for piece....but I honestly feel she is wasted here as Thena, Goddess of War.  I do appreciate the depth they try to give her but I feel like she could have been so much more of a complex, fully developed character instead of this 2 dimensional badass that's just there to fight outside of her scenes with the other Eternals.  The relationship between her and Gigamash, her fellow Eternal with incredible super-strength he can use out of forming constructs on his fists, feels like it could have been so much MORE.  Gigamash himself is underused outside of his protector and guardian role of Thena; basically trying to give us some pathos for these characters but it just doesn't work in the end. I think what doesn't help is.....I don't even know if you can even call it "pacing" of the film as it jumps between past time periods where the Eternals faced certain philosophical and morally ambitious dilemmas while trying to find their place among humanity until they can return home to their planet, Olympia.  Yeah, there is a HELL of a lot of mythology thrown at us and sometimes the film can devolve into pure camp, even melodramatic moments.  I have to say the biggest offender of this is Sersi, the Eternal with the power to change matter into anything she wants and Ikaris, the most powerful Eternal in terms of abilities since he is basically Superman-lite with eyes that fire cosmic energy, superstrength and flight.  I have to say, the film focuses TOO MUCH on these two than the others and it HURTS! -_-  The characters come off as the blandest yet so much time is devoted to them and their nonexistent chemistry/love story. 

Yeah, I don't get it either.  Even the highly talked about first sex scene of the MCU was something out of a Daytime Soap! Over-dramatic score and romantic shots from a romantic novel as well. *Groan*  The more interesting Eternals aren't really given much to do like Kingo, played with so much life and wit by Kumali Nanjiani.  An Eternal with the power to create powerful projectiles of almost any size, Kingo probably brings the most life and laughs within the team himself.  Being a Bollywood superstar for several decades and masquerading as different generations of his lineage ;), he has a personality that feels the most vibrant and genuinely fun. I also loved his valet, Karun, tagging along to record the Eternals' adventures, tho a part of me wonders how Kingo came to confide in him about his true origins???  O_o  The jokes with them didn't always work but it was good to have a human element among the group for some levity.  Kumali certainly looks like he was having a ball (no pun intended! ;) playing the role and made the most of his character outside the a few others.  So he definitely gave me the most entertainment in a film relying too much on being so brooding and serious.  I also enjoyed the uniqueness of Lauren Ridloff's Makkari, the cosmic speedster among the Eternals, who once again, gives us some of the best visuals I've seen in a superhero epic recently. O_O  Jesus, I hope DC's "The Flash" movie coming out during the holiday season of 2022 delivers on showing superspeed this dazzling, even mind blowing to look at.  I also loved her being surprisingly deaf as the actress herself is and the writers incorporating that into the film.  It definitely made her character stand out in that fact even if not given much screentime.  Tho like I said, he superspeed effects are electrifying onscreen, especially during the final battle where she lets loose and shows she's literally an unstoppable force when she starts running. :)

Another surprise among the team is Phastos, an LGBTQ+ Eternal with vast engineering abilities that make for some of the film's best, most inventive visuals as well as having his own family at stake due to the emergence that is about to happen on Earth that will ultimately destroy it.  Brian Tryree Henry is a stand out easily, bring the most emotional resonance in the film that works as well as having the best comedic moments. Honestly, I felt the most for him and his family that introduced in a handful of scenes than most of the other members of Earth's Eternals and that's just.....WOW! There's the hilariously named Sprite, an Eternal with amazing power of creating illusions that once again are visually stunning.  She brings the second best comedic flavor to the overall overly bland, boring team; especially considering her being trapped in the body of a child is fascinating.....once again, only touched upon but not given enough depth even during her last stand against Sersi toward the final battle at the end.  And it seems we won't be seeing much of her again but we'll see. Then there's Druig, the Eternal with mind control abilities who has an arc about not controlling humanity to his liking because of hating to stand back and watch given their orders by Arishem, but I wish his character got more to do to this.  He seemed like the most likely to betray the group but his arc doesn't turn out as predictable as you'd expect.  I also enjoyed his relationship with Makkari and wished we got more from it than him being playful with her and being the most to explain her sign language to people.  He just had this careless smugness that has potential and I hope at least that aspect of his character is built upon if certain Eternals do return to the MCU after the harsh reception of this film.

I must also say, the Deviants, the supposed villains of the movie.....are one of the biggest wastes of time of the film.  I mean WOW! -_-  What was even the point of their inclusion if even at the end of the film they are treated as more of an inconvenience than an actual legitimate threat anymore as the Eternals are now focused on a much more colossal apocalyptic event they are trying to stop.  I mean,.......sigh......  As for the end credit scenes setting up more to come, it definitely is intriguing if not a bit laughable given some unintentionally hilarious casting choices but we will see.  Oh and there's a character named Dane Whitman, who seems to be set up to have a bigger part in the story moving forward but despite being intrigued, I'm honestly in no hurry to find out what exactly that part is! At the end of the day, "Eternals" is an example of when big ideas go wrong when the execution bizarrely erratic.  The heavy attention to story and LOTS of exposition thrown at us instead of building on the characters, making the villains FAR more interesting or menacing and making us actually care about what was at stake really didn't work in the least.  Hopefully if Marvel decides to venture off their formula one more time with something outside their comfort zone, they are take what usually works for the MCU and building on it instead of wanting to create something so disjointed from the rest of their cinematic universe that its existence is perplexing. O_o

Sure, the film goes on to explain why the Eternals have been absent from every major war, battle and world shattering event that the Avengers and other superheros of the galaxies have faced without them but this movie doesn't exactly make you feel happy about these new heroes coming out of the shadows after thousands of years to save the world they apparently love so much again.  You noticed the only Eternal I have not mentioned is Salma Hayek's Ajak, the leader of the Eternals......and now I have mentioned her.  I mean......so many pointless aspects of this movie it is remarkably insane. A great actress in such a small, thankless role.  The fact the Celestials and their mythology being built on is jarring at best.  These all powerful intergalactic titans may look intimidating but even at the end when Arishem returns and announces his judgement on the remaining Eternals....I was more inclined to "yawn" than truly "gasp" at such turn of events. Also there's this thing with Thena having some weird Eternal sickness that makes her very unpredictable and dangerous but by final moments of the film, it's almost irrelevant.  Like all of this film turns out to be unfortunately.

"As a new, divergent take on a superhero team adventure by introducing the world of the previously mentioned Celestials with the arrival of the centuries old super beings from outer space finding their home on a planet they helped to elevate in progress and technology, "Eternals" has a bit too much ambition for its own good without making a film that's both exhilarating and engrossing in keeping audiences invested in this new world being built that feels completely at odds with the MCU instead of engaging you in a spectacular story with characters that are tangible and awesome to watch onscreen while saving the world unlike what we've usually seen before.  The film drags too often, a handful of things about it actually work from the action sequences to the visual effects, but this is a miserably uninspired mess that at the end of the day, the credits role and you left wondering, "......anyway! So......" O_o 

Final Film Score: D